Sometimes
Sometimes it seems like things are aligning in which a way I, myself, cannot understand.
For which it seems, when I lay my hand, I put it down to where I cannot stand.
This breeze feels all too calming; I forget where I’m currently, lost in my thought.
I feel the storm, the cold wind catches, the ground is still hot.
Laying and watching the clouds float by, I see the images reflect our life.
The formations remind me that I, yet, have lived through my sacrifice.
R.I.P. Grandpa
Been awhile since I seen this, dearly missed.
I dreamt a dream that foretold the future of my life.
I’m still hanging on that moment that I had to sacrifice.
Knowing he cant be there to show me how to be a grown man.
I’m on my own, how else could I expand throughout this land.
My wings no longer spread, because they are broken.
I love you; these were the words that I wished I told him.
I miss you, grandpa, only god knows how much.
Who else can guide me through this time of clutch?
I try to brush it off, not you, but the sadness of losing you.
Grandma said, “the look in your eyes, grandpa is who’s in you”.
I cried, tears shed and I never got a proper farewell.
I lock these feelings, since I don’t share cause who’s there to tell.
I come by the house, and I remember seeing you.
Sitting on the front porch, drinking and smoking a cig or two.
Mostly respected, you disciplined me for the best.
You were the only one to put my manhood to the test.
As I rest I always say goodnight to you.
Hoping that you’d hear me and return those words to me too.
It’s cool, I’m good, I know that you are watching over me.
I’ll stay here as long as I can; making sure everyone is staying happy.
I gladly say this, you taught me to be my own man.
Not waiting for what’s in store, but to construct my own plan.
And as I write this, I want to say this.
Grandpa, I love you, deeply you will be missed.
when you think it’s all over
Slowly wasting away, a river of red flows down my face.
A little harder breathing, I feel it beating in a slower pace.
I open my eyes, the world seemed to look like hell.
I see fire and I see red, head wounds made it hard to tell.
I brought my hands towards my face, in attempt to wipe my eyes.
It begins to clearer, the red turning to blue skies.
No recollection of what just happened, I turned to look around.
Moving was not an option, from the impact to the ground.
Scream and cries drown my thoughts, I could hardly hear myself.
Flesh wounds and internal bleeding, to hard to nurse back to health.
Couldn’t feel a thing. No senses seemed to work.
Feeling broke, like a twig. With the three tons of jerk.
I can now remember it clearly, the whistling and the screeching.
Ejected from what protected me, I’m helpless the end is reaching.
Now at this point, I’m desperately gasping for air.
I’m so helplessly waiting, Death takes its time cause it doesn’t care.
A Lonely Walk
I’ve never been so cold, walking on this lonely road.
A story slowly unfolds, as it is being told.
I look into the sky, thinking to myself, god why,
Do I shed these tears, watching them and the ground collide.
Who shall I confide, in these times of tribulation?
I wonder if I die, will I be a constellation.
What’s my consolation in this world of mass destruction?
Fill of ridicule and full of this disruption.
Am I ever going to overcome this obstacle?
Its making me feel weak, like it is all impossible.
It feels to hard to grasp together, unapproachable.
Is this my only task, to me its nonnegotiable.
I can’t get it out of my head, it’s sad that I’m not too loyal.
I sit and watch the hatred, making my people’s blood boil.
What being alone does to my thoughts
I set with the sunrise, I realize to recognize the days of compromise.
The reflection of your eyes, seem to disguise the light, like the clouds to the sun in the skies.
I find myself, contemplating and waiting, you’re staying, surprised, so that goes without saying.
Do I really wanna hear something different, I’m content, no repent, with what I’m praying.
Disregard the past, for the future is what to hold, it’s cold, so I stay bold.
I’m told that, this paper crane of hope, I suppose, on its own, I’m to let it unfold.
What’s to behold of the longing behavior, she’s my savior, my only hope.
I wish to know of what’s becoming, I’m not running, this here is what there is to cope.
Forget what’s been done, retract that has been said, tears shed, this river runs dry.
Awaiting in which it lies, these cries we pass it by, dearly depart it as it’s to die.
I let some time pass by, to try to reassemble what we remember to be.
I try to make connections with my own past, they put me on blast, for all to see.
I never really asked for forgiveness, but my memories be erased.
Faded with the input of the lost yesterday and the new tomorrow, but the current is hazed.
I live like the sun, no matter what happens, whether we’re dead or alive, I still set and I still rise.
I’m like the cloud covered moon, I soon avoid the clutches of searching for the stars in the skies.
I’m surprised, by how you subside, like the tide, as the moons pull bring you back.
Snap into a dream, or so it seems, that the gleam in your eyes, is what you lack.
I never wondered, never thought, I knew that it was on your mind.
My mind wandered, for something not sought, what it is, I could not find.
When all thoughts run into one
Sedate me with your hate, my fate is now on lock.
Scribbles across my notebook, I’m thoughtless, dead end, my writer’s block.
My awe indeed is shock, you talk, I hear not a word.
These storms inside my brain-dead,”go ahead”, is all I heard.
These words I heard you speak of, snaps me back to my reality.
My dreams, they feel so real, in fact, it’s actuality.
To me, I know it’s sad to see, this poor kid has lost is mind.
Bitterness surrounds his being, there’s no seeing, so hard to find.
The likeliness of his lifeless stare, brings worry to one’s aware.
Not knowing the anticipation, is a question worth the wariness of the scare.
I’m hopeless, some one’s sick humor, creativity’s poor excuse.
Unfocused, I could of done it sooner, a tool for the a being to misuse.
Happiness is no longer an honest state of mind.
For the truth beneath the lies, seemed to be too hard to find.
What hides deep within the mind cannot be dormant any longer.
For what is bottled inside, over flows, not even be contained by the stronger.
When I sit to think, my thoughts take over my soul and eats away at my very existence.
I try to snap back my reality which seems all to futile to my resistance.
Dragged back to the sight of seeing myself in the mirror, this is my only fear.
I ask, myself, “what it is that I see?” Due to the steamed glass, what’s seen is not clear.
Again and again, these images inside my mind plays on repeat.
Craving on my soul this pain starts to eat, and rests beneath my feet.
Like a shadow, its with me, standing, waiting, anticipating.
Wanting my downfall to accomplish and bury me once again, for the next is devastating.
I fill the empty spaces, with places I’ve never been, to complete my useless life.
I sacrifice my minutes, for the sake of not feeling incomplete, but it does not suffice.
Tearing away at my skin, I’m pinned, wearing away with a dull knife.
With a heart filled with ice, I kill the total silence, the lifespan, I sacrifice.
Given in to sudden panic and noisy retreat.
A man admits defeat, he can’t stand it, he’s incomplete.
Indignity, in discrete, he’s no longer on his feet.
Total silence no more pain, removal of the heartbeat.
Bury the blade into his back, attack the total silence.
Gloomy thoughts cloud his mind, he always wanted to die, since.
He has nothing to live for, supposedly, convinced he lost it all.
Seasons change, time turns, but this is his last fall.
Scraped knees, he tried to pray, but god has not an answer.
He’s lost hope for his life, no chance he thinks of cancer.
